I like to think about my family. I like when we are all meshing, getting along, having conversations that don't fall into the shallow end. I like when we get to laughing hard or when we share a vulnerable tear. I even like the hard stuff. The terrible turmoil that we all have to work through to come out on the other end. I like watching favorite shows together
ahem, breaking bad. what a family show! I like eating staple meals and talking until 12am on a school night and laughing. Yea, laughing is important.
I get to share this family with Eric. A thirteen year age difference makes no difference. Connection right away. A similar vibe. But, I think that he is much more patient than I am, more forgiving, and a glass half full kinda guy. I mean this when I say, I am not sure I have met anyone more glass half full than he.
He is a thrifty dude - he shuts the curtains when the sun shines in to save energy. He unplugs the toaster and will drink day old coffee from our chemex if it is still warm in the thermos. He eats every speck of food off his plate and he won't waste dessert even if he is full.
When he commits to a plan, a routine, a belief he will follow through. I admire this. He isn't half way.
He is a sensitive heart, something I love and appreciate. He can talk about his feelings, be vulnerable, and be sorry. He is stubborn, but he comes around.
He is a music man, a rustic man, a hardworking man. He has appreciated the words a friend of mine used to describe his look, "European with a twist."
Merci! This also means that he is not up on the latest trends and really doesn't care to be. He still wears a summer tank from his junior year in high school and enjoys the nostalgia of his grandpa's winter boots. I really love that about him.
He is my sweet. He smells good and he is strong. I trust him and see a genuinely good man every single day. I mean it! I am thankful. I take him for granted too often. I might be making you sick right now, but it's the truth.
XO to that!
And that would be Gaibrien, my step-girl. I have never been a fan of the word step followed by a parental term. I know, I know. I might be off, but for me it has always had a negative connotation. I get that I am this pretty girl's step-ma when it comes to societal standards, but she has a mom and I am not her.
I would say that we have a unique relationship. I am not her peer, not her parent, not her best friend. I think that I am in some ways an ally, in some ways a friend, an alternative-parental view on life, a trusted and listening ear. I hold myself to a standard of "role model," but alas this is another term I hate. Sometimes words are hard to find.
Gaibrien is a hilarious lady. She says the funniest things, and she is quick. She is pretty great at mimicking family, friends, and famous peeps.
Gaibrien has strong opinions that cannot be thwarted or changed easily. A stubborn nature like her pa, and I know she would tell you that. We've discussed it. This makes for some interesting conversations in our household.
Gaibrien is smart and retains what she learns. She has an excellent memory and is sentimental, appreciating the past. As a family, we seem to discuss childhood memories quite a bit. Up til midnight, I tell you!
Gaibrien has a soft heart, and I would say more, but she might want me to stop there. I will say that I love the times when all of us are mushy and feeling oriented and honest and lovey. Gaibrien, Eric, and I.
She is a girl that has taught me about how I operate in my rawest state. She has shown me, without realizing, my biggest flaws. She has broadened my patience and understanding for teenagers. She has made me aware of new ways to handle differing opinions on major issues. She has made me laugh, cry, get angry and confused. She has caused me to think bigger and love deeper. She has caused me to trust God in richer ways.
I am very thankful for her place in my life! I am excited to watch her life unfold in beautiful ways. To watch her through pain and heartbreak, happiness and even keel.
I am somewhat a sideline lady in her life, but always a there-for-her woman.
And then there is my sweet girl Ivy. My baby love. We have many names for her like smidge, doitch, boo-boo, smish, ivers, iven, ivel von doffenhopper, etc. She is quite a character as I am sure all moms think their babies are.
Ivy is a year and a half. She is smart and fun. Saying all kinds of words. A parrot. She studies everything and everyone. An aware girl. She is also very determined. I see that word stubborn coming up again and she is that.
She is a good girl. She doesn't expect many stern words but when her ears catch them her lips and eyes turn down and the biggest tear drops fall. A determined and sensitive girl I've got. And I must say, I think that's some of me coming through. I only pray she is a secure girl her entire life and uses that sensitive, stubborn strength to do well for herself and others.
Ivy has changed my ways. I have learned to become even more patient, to let go of perfection a tiny bit more (but still working on it), and to take time to smell the coffee, the roses, to study the little hairs on her head. To kiss her stinky toes. To observe her face when she isn't looking. To take time to read a book, sing a song, and have toddler conversation. She has taught me to halt. To loosen my jaw. To embrace mess and dirt.
I hope my little girl will grow into a lovely woman. One who cares about all the right things. I will do my best to show her. In doing so, she is already inspiring a much better woman in myself. My sweet Ives.
I am glad for this little group. And I think the way a family works itself out works each family member into who they are and who they will be. I can only hope that something good is always transpiring, seen or unseen, heard or unheard. A spirit of good in the home to carry out into a chaotic world. A spirit that makes sense.
Let the love flow.
