Is it legal to go back to blogging after months of MIA?
I feel sheepish.
But I want to blog.
So I will.
I suppose I have been absent because in November I found out I was pregnant.
This led to extreme exhaustion, brainlessness, and hormonal me.
Also, illness took over our household.
LIKE A LOT.
We couldn't catch a break.
So my body and mind were spent doing things like taking care of a fevery child, a fevery me, and working Moonbugs magic.
Me time became them-that-their-toodle-lou time.
And it still kind of is.
For all you pregnant folk, the body is working hard to maintain another human.
It's working for two.
I am in month eight of that hard work, and I feel like I am in year five.
And I am freaked out!
I have a two year old who I love dearly.
Who is feisty and determined and stubborn.
Who keeps me on my toes every second.
Who I can't imagine will accept this whole baby sibling thing all that well.
She seems excited, but reaaaallly?
Is it going to work?
And the whole how-the-hell-will-I-have-enough-love question? I ask it everyday.
And how am I going to split my time?
How will everyone remain sane MOST of the time? Or at least fifty percent.
And will my two year old Ivy know how much I love her? And will she comply? And will she be okay?
And the poor baby within?
Little Lark.
My bird.
My peace keeper.
My singing so sweet when everything else is dark.
These are my prayers for her heart and mind and personality.
I mean it.
And when I think of them, I am calm and elated.
But most of the time I am scared.
So, that's where I have been.
In a land of questions.
8 months of wonder.
And not the day dreamy kind.
Well, maybe.
I do imagine Ivy and Lark as sisters.
These lovely little girls giggling and learning to love and to be kind.
Getting messy and yelling.
Holding each other in the hard times.
Making pacts and jokes.
Sticking up for each other.
Seeing imperfect parents do the best they can
followed by grace and forgiveness.
A family of treasures - not physical, but spiritual and emotional.
Memories and love.
Ah, never mind. I'm all over the place.
But I'm back.
To write and gain a bit of solitude for my thoughts.
+
To Ivy and Lark!
Two very important people, no matter how mush brained and crazy I have been because of them.
Cheers!
